4.16.2004

Bem, eu fiz pela metade o tal curso do Tesouro sobre emissão de títulos de dívida pela República e agora estou totalmente endividado, que merda. Tem uma frase do Rodney Dangerfield, um comediante norte-americano muito muito engraçado, que é a seguinte: "Os homens lidam com muitos casos de angústias, pena que eles têm mais angústias do que casos!!!!!"
Ele é muito bom!
Eventually I´d end up writing in portuguese, french. Mais bien, aujourd´hui je me sens pas francophonic, et rien que anglophonic. Et donc, le portugais c´est ma langue!
Besos calientes

4.14.2004

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4.13.2004

Hey you guys. Back in the city. I´m not too proud, but let´s just say I might have lost someone that could be the girl of my dreams. Thoughts and heart still in Salvador. I´m just a bit tired, so I´ll try to get some sleep. Tomorrow I´ll be an expert on public debt and Treasury, maybe I´ll post something regarding our GDP/Debt ratio.

For you my beautiful.
Now we can comment

4.09.2004

Here goes a beautiful blue eye´s song:

I’ve got you under my skin
I’ve got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart, that you’re really a part of me
I’ve got you under my skin

I’ve tried so not to give in
I’ve said to myself this affair never will go so well
But why should I try to resist, when baby will I know than well
That I’ve got you under my skin

I’d sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear

Don’t you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
’cause I’ve got you under my skin
I wish I were a pin up boy, but what the hell I´m not. Sao Paulo´s awesome. I´ll miss here when I came back to my place in our friendly capital (where nothing really happens on your sight). Right now my heart and thoughts are in Salvador.

4.07.2004

I took a decision for my professional life I want to announce it later. For now I just want to say that I am really happy that I had the gut to do it. it´s no big deal, let´s just say I put my foot down on a long term basis.

Leaving this alone. For this specific night I want to state that I SUCK, which make me fell really bad about myself.

Whatever...

Tomorrow I´ll be in Sao Paulo. C ya in the pit

4.04.2004

Howdy,

So if anyone´s asking for the damn poem, here it is:

Eu queria te deixar em paz.
Eu queria te esquecer
Longe no pensamento, quilômetros de distância

Tão distante, mas próximo ao sonhar,
Perto o bastante para um adeus.
Olhos fechados a desejar,
Um dia a mais no seu lugar

Se eu pudesse te deixar para trás,
Se eu pudesse a memória apagar,
Sem mágoas e no silêncio da distância,
Um beijo no escuro, um vazio de amar.

Queria aprender a viver
Sem ter medo de te perder;
Queria ao menos tentar
Pela primeira vez te esquecer.

A diferença em algum momento
Não é alterar o curso da vida,
É me sentir cada vez mais só
E distante. Com medo de perder
Com medo de esquecer.
Hola.

Well it was a plain simple saturday, filled with Tony Hawk´s playstation tricks and jerking around the Internet. Tell me about e-motions...
Last week I was wondering out here in my place when suddenly my thoughts started to point out to a girl I used to love three years ago. So when I started writting a poem to her it hit me: every song and every misquotations I ever placed on a blank paper was inspired on her, and yet she never knew it... I was felling very bad about myself. So I commenced to e-mail her telling everything about it: how sometimes I´m so far away and still thinking about her, wondering how it would be if she knew I ever loved her, if for once I trusted my guts... this was a strange thought, which I never want to sense it again. Now thinking it straight I hope this was nothing but a reflex of my love´s devoid.

4.03.2004

Hey. Hi. Well, now I got an internet conection at my place. So I´ll try to place more messages here. This week I made a huge mistake that´s not worth a note, so I´ll just let go. If I had a comments section here, I´d ask all of you boys and girls that eventually check this piece of crap to assess if I´m a cold person. I hope I´m not. I think this is just a consequence from my lonely being here in our friendly capital... My heart is with you.

3.05.2004

So here I am, pretending I'm a superman... Well, I'm at Palacio do Planalto waiting to hear the briefing on Lula's conversation with british PM, Tony Blair. All I wanted to say is my first week in our friendly capital has been nice and full of work. I think I've found a place to live, to rest my ass. I'll try to update this shit more often. See you in the pit...

2.29.2004

Oh, and I just got back from Salvador and I met this incredible girl. I´m really excited that maybe we can move our situation forward. I´ll let you know.
Well. It seems that my blog mind is perenial... Well. Today´s my last day in Sao Paulo. Tomorrow I´ll be in Brasilia, our friendly capital. I´ll try to spend more time writing in this space. People starves for news about me (that´s a bit pretentious). My thoughts is on all of you guys. Wish me luck.

1.01.2004

It's Jan 1st one more time again. I've experimented 24 1st of january since I was born in december 16th, 1980. Awesome, huh? Well my last two new years I've had sex, I thought I was implementing a tradition in my life, which is always have sex during at new year's dawn, but 2004 started with a mistletoe kiss, nothing hot, just a plain cold lip kiss... Dammit. I want to bang a girl, fuck!!!! Let me stop short from saying my brain has become a cheese waxed package.
I don't remember if I ever told why my blog is called 404 not found, besides a ridiculous Internet misquotation, this is the name of a song from a band called Hateen. Yeah, all that emo crap "I don't know what my role in life is/ What Am I suppose to do/ I love you so much it hurts just seeing you/ I am out of focus" but it seemed a good name for a digital journal (wow, this is so cheesy --I'm feeling like a barbie doll).
Don't have a pussy to stick my cock into, so I'll just go back to work.

12.28.2003

Well it is confusing, every time I´m back on a trip my life is found on a crossroad, which is girls on my mind, apologies in my mouth and you always surounding them. This routine has to change.
When the year starts I´ll call her to see if she still wants to hang out with me. And this time I´ll try to fix up things that had to be glued a long time ago.

Vai vadiar

12.09.2003

oh and check this out. she was not amazing. purely stupid

12.08.2003

I got nothing to say:

Firefly

I said I'd walk you home after our third round of pouring whiskey down the barrel of our guts
and I grabbed hold of your hand. We're up and we're out and we're yelling through the streets
and I'm out of my fucking mind
and I know you're next to me but I must confess what's in my head.
Keep pumping now, legs to beat the ground, and our hearts to beat the band.
The sky's on fire again. Run down this alleyway.
Lightning bolts again and we become fireflies just flashing at the air.
Rattle garbage cans. Prepare to be ravaged by our lust burning mad, the fire that we've become.
And I know you're under me but I must confess what's in my head:
To me you are the light from a light bulb that breaks sometimes
and the tender warmth inside is released into my life
and it smothers me in flames that lick and scorch my face.
As the smoke reaches the sky know I'm burning tonight.
Know I'm burning tonight.
Know I'm burning tonight.
Know I'm burning tonight.
Know I'll burn for you tonight.

12.05.2003

Dude, I was HIRED!!!!!!! I was worried as hell that I was going to lose my job next year but now it´s all gone, `cause I was fucking HIRED!!!!!

Listening to Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing
Et bien, mon humeur est très francophonique, j´enverrai un petit poème que j´avais ecrit:

Plein, piège présence
Il y a quelque chose étrange sur la vie,
Quelque chose poubelle,
Que se resemble toujour,
Toujour sur ma conscience,
Conscience pleine,
Que piège et aprécie.
Je sens votre présence,
Sur ma tête, mon beau cadeau,
Ma vie...
So, this what I used to call a busy day full of peculiarities. Let´s cut the crap and go right to the point, which is always girls. Recently I´ve reestablish contact with this girl I used to work with, she´s pretty smart and waaaaaaaay cute. Et bien sûr, elle est francophonique, ce que c´est super!!! J´ai une amie que lui connais aussi, et elle m´a dit que peut être j´ai des chance. So, I´m planning to go right after her. Maybe thru a new approach.
So now I have three fronts to attack, hope at least one gets right into the bullseye. When it all cames down, I really wish it could be her, sometimes a long walk deserves a refreshing water just to put you right on the track. I hope not to count much on that, eventually I really feel people who fullfil each other should be together, at least her reconnaissance is a step forward, right?

Listening - All, Miranda.